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Tactic #42- Feeling Hurt or Betrayed
Summary: Appealing to a counterpart's
feelings by acting personally upset by an offer.
Most negotiators want to avoid hurting someone
else’s feelings. Tough negotiators don’t mind being ruthless, since they
consider their actions just a part of business, but even they don’t feel
comfortable when someone tells them they have hurt his feelings or
betrayed him in some way.
Example
We were
negotiating a subcontract for our services. In the middle of the
negotiation, the contractor stopped and stated that it was important
that we know how he felt. He went on to tell us that because of our long
business relationship, he felt hurt and betrayed that we would not work
for him unless we made a higher fee. We backed up and changed our
aspirations because we felt terrible that he was taking our actions so
personally. We do not mind driving a hard bargain, but we do not want to
hurt people’s feelings in the process. Unfortunately, we learned when
this happened a second time with the same person that the “hurt
feelings” were just a tactic.
Counter
We could have simply apologized and asked the contractor to clarify why
he felt hurt. Or it may have been helpful to ask, “If You Were in Our
Shoes, could you understand why obtaining the higher fee might be
important to us?”
This tactic is one of 101 strategies and tactics
featured in The Only Negotiating Guide You'll Ever Need, by Peter
Stark and Jane Flaherty.
Ask the
Negotiator
Dear Peter,
I work as a marketing consultant for different teams
in several of the major championship racing series. Alcohol
companies play a major role in providing the funds that keep the
vehicles technologically advanced and the sport exciting to watch.
For the past several months, I have been building a relationship
with a major alcohol company that specializes in spirits-based
drinks. The company has expressed an interest in working with me,
but has held back due to the public perception of spirits-based vs.
malt-based beverages (which advertise for virtually every motor
racing championship).
Studies have proven that there is no social,
scientific or legal basis for treating advertising for distilled
spirits differently from advertising for other alcoholic beverages.
In addition, other major companies that make spirits-based beverages
are already sponsoring motor racing and are benefiting a great deal
from the exposure (to approximately 400 million international
viewers per race!).
How do I take the negotiations with this company to
the next level?
Sincerely,
Jeff
Dear Jeff,
I am not an expert in the auto racing or alcohol
industry, but here are some thoughts. First, you could combine the
tactic of Feel, Felt and Found
with the tactic of Facts and Statistics.
Tell the company’s reps that you can understand how they feel, and
present several case studies of other companies that have felt the
same way about advertising in your industry, but have taken the
plunge and found out the benefits. Then present your facts about the
amount of exposure these advertisers have received.
There is another tactic that might be even more successful, and that
is the Power of Competition.
Go to this client’s top three competitors and see if you can drum up
any interest from them. Chances are that your reluctant client will
not want to see someone else's name on the side of a race car, and
that could have a major impact on the outcome of your negotiation.
Best regards,
Peter
Ask the
Negotiator - Are you involved in a
negotiation and not sure what strategies or tactics to use?
Send in your toughest negotiation
challenge and our team of expert negotiators will outline a specific
plan to ensure your success. Please send your negotiation
challenge to
info@everyonenegotiates.com. If your challenge gets
published, we'll send you an autographed copy of The Only
Negotiating Guide You'll Ever Need, by Peter Stark and Jane
Flaherty ($14.95 retail) WOW!!
To view this month's issue of The Master
Negotiator, the premiere on-line newsletter for negotiators,
follow this link:
The Master Negotiator, Volume 2, Number
7 Nonverbal Negotiation, Part I
To view previous Negotiating Tactics of the Week,
follow this link:
Negotiating Tactics of the Week
To forward this tactic to a friend or colleague
please click on the forward link below
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